


don't call it stupid

by diamondgore



Category: X-Men (Comicverse), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Gen, Wedding Jitters, i try my hand at banter and fail, references to the OG iceman Mini
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-28
Updated: 2019-02-28
Packaged: 2019-11-07 01:42:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17951222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diamondgore/pseuds/diamondgore
Summary: Prompt Fill For: I know we’re best friends and all, but could you maybe be my date to my cousin’s wedding to prove to my judgmental relatives that I can find love and that I won’t be alone for the rest of my life.or,Hank is Bobby's date to his friend's wedding.





	don't call it stupid

**Author's Note:**

> I uh, usually don't post prompt fills from tumblr on here outside of a collection since i don't like spamming tags but thought i'd put this here because I liked it so much. 
> 
> If you do for some reason want to read it on tumblr, [here it is](http://diamondgore.tumblr.com/post/183116929506/do-you-think-you-could-do-bobbyhank-with-8-i)!

Bobby’s riding the tail of an anxiety attack. He felt his skin become warm, a sensation he hadn’t felt since he was fifteen. Not that the attacks of his neurosises didn’t come often, but they never came with hot flashes that made his cheeks prickly and red. He could almost swear it was an allergic reaction. The fact that he was wearing a three piece suit wasn’t helping.

He wants to it peel his skin off, as he pulled off his tie. That sounded much more pleasant than watching his friend Marv get married.

To his parents, Marv was the daughter they never had. She was the daughter that they wanted Bobby to be, but he had never fulfilled it. For that reason, Bobby’s father was walking her down the aisle, he’d always been a second father to Marv so it only seemed fair as her own father had passed. And G-d, was Bobby jealous.

He’d knew from the start that he had been a disappointment to his parents, in more ways than one. He was a mutant, a gay and an accountant. Well, the last one wasn’t too bad, but they certainly wished he had gotten a job that would be more fulfilling! Whatever the hell that meant!

“Robert? You’ve been in there for a long time.” Hank stated. It wasn’t directed at Bobby directly, as much as it was Hank musing out loud. Bobby never spent that long in the bathroom with the door open.

“Bobby. Please call me Bobby in front of the guests.” Bobby said with a strained voice as he stared at his bright red face in the mirror. He looked awful, not fit enough to give the wedding toast at the reception, even though he’d written one of the best pieces of stand up comedy in the twenty-first century in his opinion. However, having the breakdown thirty minutes prior to the ceremony was a lot better than having one during. That was at least something he could look forward too.

“Of course.” Hank said, and then walked towards the bathroom. Hank was fully dressed in a red crushed velvet suit. He was wearing gold rings on his furry blue fingers, and he might as well have stolen the show from the bride. If it wasn’t the fact that Hank was so garishly dressed that would steal it, it would be the fact that he was an eight-hundred pound furry blue man. He never really seemed to struggle with how he looked, and fully accepted it.

Looking at Hank’s reflection in the bathroom mirror as he stood outside the door, Bobby briefly wondered why he had asked Hank to be his date to be his date, rather than literally anyone else who didn’t look so blue. He could’ve asked, Warren or Jean or Scott, but the complication of the fact that they were dead probably set him off that course.

Who was Bobby kidding—even with all those options, he would’ve still chosen Hank, time and time over. While most of his friend group seemed to become more mature and jaded, Hank had kept that jovial holly from his youth. He was the only one Bobby could openly banter with, without getting his feelings hurt. Was the reason Bobby having an anxiety attack the wedding or the fact that he had purposely chosen Hank as his date?

“You look ill.” Hank said, leaning against the door. Bobby swore he could hear it creek underneath his weight.

“I’m fine.” Bobby breathed out. His throat was so dry, he’d never really felt this dehydrated before, and this was including the time he was only a head of ice in the middle of the desert. “I just need—“ Bobby clutched his chest and groaned. This was worse than having a heart attack. He turned around and closed his eyes, leaning against the sink.

Hank took that as an excuse to walk in and check on Bobby. He pressed his giant blue hands against Bobby’s bright red neck and face.

“Hot flashes? That’s a first.” Hank stated quietly. “You’re warm.”

“Yeah, I really hope I’m not going through menopause.” Bobby stated, trying to lighten the mood. However the joke’s delivery was terrible through his labored breath.

Hank played along. “I feel like that would be in the realm of the improbable, but I suppose it could happen.” Hank hummed, continuing to exam Bobby’s face, and then taking his pulse with his fingers. “Would be the first case I’ve ever seen in a man. Perhaps we’d make medical history?”

Bobby liked that Hank didn’t force him to talk about his feelings, or whatever bullshit breathing exercises most people made him do.

“Aren’t I already a medical anomaly?” Bobby asked, a little more relaxed as he felt Hank’s hands slowly compress his shoulders.

“Yes, usually people with no brain don’t live till adulthood, but you seem to have beat the record.” Hank said, serious and deadpan. His delivery made Bobby break out into laughter.

Bobby was now not shaking with anxiety and panic, but with laughter. Hank still had his hands on both of his shoulders, but Hank was laughing too. His chortling was deep and breathy. Once Bobby had recomposed himself enough he smacked Hank with the back of his hand in the stomach.

“That was mean.” He faux frowned, scrunching up his face in an over-exaggerated way.

“You’ve said meaner things to me.”

“But they’re usually true, furball.” Bobby said, as Hank let go of him. He felt a lot better now that Hank had sort of walked him through another panic attack. It was the first time he had done it in a very long time.

The knot in his chest loosened, and he no longer felt like he was wearing a noose. He was sort of thankful that he chose Hank to be his date now.

“I needed that.” Bobby said and then played with his thumbs, avoiding eye contact with Hank. It was far more comfortable to avoid it when possible.

“You’re like a spring,” Hank said, “You get so worked up it’s like you supercoil and compress yourself so tightly you just explode. I’ve been expecting it happen for a while now. I’m glad I caught you. Instead of letting you go through it on your own.”

Bobby slouched forward and pressed his head fully into Hank’s chest, and frowned honestly this time. “G-d, this wedding is going to suck.”

Hank smelled sweet, like honeysuckle. It was the first time in a long time where he didn’t smell like a dog.

“All weddings are terrible.” Hank said. “Do you think Marv sprung for those little sausage rolls?”

“Like the ones we had at Scott and Jean’s wedding?” Bobby tilted his head to the side. Yes, it was awful that both Hank and Bobby were ditched by their dates back then, but the catering was excellent. Warren had paid for it, and Bobby and Hank drowned their sorrows in terribly made cosmopolitans and sausage rolls. This wasn’t the first time Hank and Bobby had become each other’s wedding dates. “Those were good.”

“They were delicious.” Hank nodded, he paused for a moment in thought. “If the idea of this wedding threw you into a panic attack, perhaps we should just leave? I’m sure Marv will understand if I come down with a sudden unknown illness.” Hank suggested.

“She’s pretty understanding. She has a normal family, and I’m sure I could just send my speech to my dad.”

“But I was still promised a free meal, that was part of the deal of being dragged all the way to Long Island. So how are we going to work around that?”

Bobby couldn’t think of a better plan. “I think the TGI Friday’s on Main has the endless appetizers deal, that should fill your endless black hole of a stomach.”


End file.
